Sometimes....

Sometimes I get jealous....
Sometimes I think about who I might be if I were not a mother and a wife.
I think about what I might look like and if I'd like my reflection.
I think about the places I would travel to and the people I would meet.
Sometimes I get jealous of women's bodies who are intact and not damaged by pregnancy and birth.
Sometimes I think I may have less lines around my eyes if I spent less time worrying about my babies.
Sometimes I feel like I could have been more or done more with my life.
But then...
I look across the room and see their smiles, and I know this where I was born to be.
I was meant to be a mother and a wife.
Because nothing else brings such joy to my life.
I will live a thousand adventures next to their side.
I will wipe off every tear and witness every smile and be their rock to lean on until the day I leave this Earth.
And from Heaven I will wait and watch down on them while they learn, make mistakes and grow.
Patiently waiting until again at my side they will be.
And until that day comes I will reflect silently on my lives choices and I will know that being a wife and mother was the best choice that I have ever made because there's truly nothing more important that I could have done in my life than be the mother of Ayelen, Brayden and Cohen.
I hope that they will always know that they are number one in my life and no amount travel, people, or beauty could replace what they have given me.

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