For all us moms.

WHY DON'T FRIENDS WITH KIDS HAVE TIME?
Tell Me About It by Carolyn Hax

● Carolyn:
My best friend has a child. Her: Exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
OK. I've done Internet searches; I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please, no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners. . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them every day. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day, and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail?
I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events), and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy — not a bad thing at all — but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth?
Is this a contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids, and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
— Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand — while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom friends are either lying or competing with you — is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries and questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family members and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting the constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy — and then when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, you wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend — a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends or marvel at how much more productively she uses her time.
Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

I'm a Girly Girl

I loved this quote and had to share it. :)

"I believe in Manicures. I believe in Overdressing. I believe in Primping at leisure and wearing Lipstick. I believe that Laughing is the best calorie burner. I Believe in Kissing; Kissing a lot. I believe in Being Strong when everything else seems to be going wrong. I believe Happy Girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I Believe in Miracles. "
-Audrey Hepburn

Copy and Paste

Looking at other blogs, mine looked really lonely with only 8 postings, so I added blogs that I had written last year on my Myspace account. If you're bored or want to read them, they are under 2008. :)

A mothers unconditional love

I think mothers are the only people in the world that will feel total love and adoration for another person who constantly telling her her butt is fat and big and her tummy is squishy. Gotta love kids and their honesty. Picture courtesy of Brayden ("see mom? you got big butt")

Hopes and dreams for the coming year

I've always been a dreamer. I have big goals and ambitions. The problem is I often don't accomplish the things I set out to do but, I think I'm growing and learning from past mistakes. Last fall Ayelen was very insistent on me going to church with her. She often went with family members or neighbors, but she didn't want that anymore. She wanted me there with her. This was extremely hard for me. I have never been good at attending church. Even though I have great love for the gospel, attending church was always really hard and almost painful for me. No matter where I am, I have always felt as an outcast, and church seemed to bring that feeling out even more. I didn't like being reminded of all the things I should be doing and everything I'm not. I thought if I wasn't perfect in everything the church asked from me, I was being a hypocrite. And rather then be a hypocrite I'd stay home and spend time with my family, and worship God in my own way. After all I was a good person, and not going to church wasn't going to change that. Church would only make me feel worst for all the things I wasn't doing. Then something interesting happened. A friend of mine was going through a really difficult trial in her life, and through it all, in spite of her young age, she was so wise and strong. We spent a lot of time together, talking. Which was such a great blessing in my life. She opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. Her strength and wisdom came from God and her awesome faith. I shared with her some of the worst moments in my life and through it all she listened, she didn't interrupt, she didn't judge. I had never been felt such peace. She taught me that being perfect in the eyes of God wasn't the same perfection that we seek, but instead being whole and feeling peace within ourselves. And the guilt that I felt so often, wasn't a bad thing. It was a blessing that God gave us to lead us in the right direction. Without guilt, we'd be lost, not knowing what is right or wrong. So with my new found knowledge I came home and told Ayelen we'd go to church on Sunday. I was excited to but scared. Sunday rolled around and my stomach was in knots. I thought everyone would know I didn't belong, and would not want me there. I got the kids ready and then got in my dress. I felt sick. I didn't want to go. I started having a panic attack. For sure I would see people I knew. They would know what a hypocrite I am and they would judge me, rightfully so. I couldn't breath I felt itchy all over and I started to sob. Not cry, but sob. The ugly messyness, with the runny nose and screaming body shaking cry. I hated church and I didn't want to go. But I made a promise, so I said a prayer and tried to talk my self out of the craziness in my head. I cleaned my face and off we went to met my friend at her church. We missed sacrement but we made it. It was hard and uncomfortable. I had to keep telling myself "I love church, I want to be here. I love church. I want to be here." to try and make things easier. The following Sunday was a little tough, but not nearly as bad. So for that last few months, we been getting dressed and going to church every Sunday. We have not missed one. I don't ever remember being that consistent in my church attendance. So my goal for the rest of the year is to keep it up. To keep going every Sunday. My next goal is to actually make it to my home ward, at 9 am. That's going to be hard, but I have come so far. And I'm proud of myself. I do feel peace and a sense of pride. For once I have made a goal and stuck to it.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

27??!

Jeff's birthday is coming up. He'll be 27 this Tuesday, which of course is a reminder that I'll be 27 not too much after. Really where has the time gone? In my mind I'm still that awkward little girl that's not quite sure where she belongs or who she is. One minute I'm planning my future with dreams of moving to west coast and the next I'm a mom with 3 kids and been married for 7 yrs. Time flies, and I feel precious little moments slipping from my finger tips. I want time to stop, and let me catch up. I want to enjoy every second of every minute of everyday. I want hold my babies in my arms and keep that moment and feeling locked in my heart forever. I want every laugh and giggle to echo in my mind until the end of time. Sweet stories of far away places, super heros and bad guy chasing. I want to, and I'm going to- really truely capture those moments as much as possible in this blog. I will stop worrying about who might read it and who might not, and the mess in the background of every picture. I will post for me and my heart, to bring peace to my soul knowing that I'm grateful and aware of the beautiful blessing that is my life and my children.